Life for the deployed soldier and his family
Sadly, the struggles our military families face with long-term deployments is nothing new for our country and its brave soldiers.
November 23, 2009 • Ashley Brenton, Guest Contributor
Filed under 2009-2010
Since September 11, 2001 countless numbers of families have had to overcome separation because of long-term military deployments.
“It’s very hard to be away from the ones you love most. I hate missing all the important days: birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays. It’s knowing that they’re there for me that gets me through it, “ said Curtis Brenton, a member of the military for the past 18 years.
A total of 11,545 soldiers that are currently enlisted in the National Guard have been deployed to Iraq for Operation Iraqi Freedom. Of those, 3,971 have been deployed to Afghanistan for Operation Enduring Freedom. More than half of those serving have families left back at home.
“Sometimes my children misbehave while their father is away. My kids disrespect me. They listen to their father over me any day, “ commented Jeannie Brenton, wife to Curtis Brenton.
According to Army.mil, children need to be watched more while a parent is deployed. Toddlers and young children may refuse to sleep alone, partly because of the worry they have for the deployed parent. Teenagers may engage in drugs and alcohol abuse and other risky behaviors.
When asked how it felt to miss the first few months of his new-born daughters’ life Curtis said, “It makes me feel sad. I don’t worry about that though, as much as I do missing her sweet 16.”
When researchers analyzed 116 spouses of deployed Army personnel they discovered that one-third of their school aged children were at high risk of having psychosocial problems.The most common were internalizing symptoms such as: being anxious, worrying or crying more often.
“I believe a child knows the parent and the bond is made stronger upon return,” said Mr. Brenton.
When a husband is deployed the wife is a single parent wondering if her husband is going to make it home. 42% of surveyed mothers from Reuters. com reported having high levels of parenting stress.
“Life’s hard for the spouse left at home. We have to worry about them being gone and if they’re okay. But we also have to worry about everything that is happening at home,” commented Mrs. Brenton.
Fatherhood.org and other agencies have created a known as Deployed Fathers and Families to help families stay connected. They teach the children to communicate to the deployed parent through artwork and letters. They’ve also come up with the idea of making videos to send back and forth in hopes of keeping the families even closer.
“Phone calls, emails, and the love we have for each other kept me strong through the long deployment,” said Mrs. Brenton.
“I keep my family close to my heart. I had pictures and teddy bears, but it’s the love that got me through it,” said Curtis.
A military father’s legacy is put in jeopardy by the frequent and long deployments required by his dedication and loyal service to our nation.
When asked to give advice to new fathers who are about to get to deployed to either Iraq or Afghanistan, Curtis said, “Love your family, and spend as much time as you can with them while you are home. While you’re gone know they love and miss you; focus on the job and return home safely.”
